


Love in different directions ( AHIT One-shots)

by Cloaked_Immortal



Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: Conductor is a Yandere, Dadtcher is positive, F/F, F/M, I AIN’T DOING SMUT, M/M, OI! Ships are here, Overprotective Dads, SNATCHER NEEDS LUV NOW, Swearing, VANESSA CAN FITE ME, well shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-01-25 23:15:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21364270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloaked_Immortal/pseuds/Cloaked_Immortal
Summary: Explore a perspective of the likes you’ve probably seen. Hat Kid decided to stay. Her parents were actually dead so she had no reason to go. Bow kid was kinda happy. Mustache Girl is forgiven. All goes well.... right? Secrets of the past open, discoveries are made. And they all lead up to a big question with an unthinkable answer.
Relationships: Bow Kid & Hat Kid & Mustache Girl, Conductor (A Hat in Time) - Relationship, DJ Grooves & Hat Kid, Hat Kid & Everyone, Hat Kid & Snatcher, Self Insert/Snatcher, The Conductor/DJ Grooves/Original Character(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hehehehe. I love writing. Let me share with you my ideas!

What am I supposed to type? Uh anyway. Welcome to my One shot book. Request might not be answered. X reader? I’ll try. Hmmm. Let’s see. No lemons or Smut. Maybe a little NSFW but not too much. Like a Lime or something. Let’s get this party started! Enjoy your stay! Or as Snatcher says.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! YOU BLEW IT! YOU’VE TOTALLY SCREWED YOURSELF!


	2. La-Lassie?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Conductor never like DJ Grooves. But Hat Kid had grown on the old owl. What happens when things get out of hand?

L-Lassie?( Yandere!Conductor x Hat Kid x DJ Grooves)( Platonic. **EXTREMELY PLATONIC JUST CAUSE HE YAN DOES’T MEAN HE LOVE HER LIKE DAT!**)  
The conductor couldn’t quite understand it. Why? Why would the young lass choose to spend her time with that…. No good,… Award Stealing,…. FLASHY IDIOTIC…. PECK NECK?! The Conductor always disliked DJ Grooves. It started on a normal Tuesday morning, Hat Kid was dropping by for her normal visit to see the Conductor and DJ Peck Neck- Er…. Grooves. She started towards the Conductor’s side when DJ called her over.  
“Hi DJ Grooves!”  
“Hello Darling, great to see you bright and early on this looooovely day!”  
Hat Kid snickers at his energetic self. She shakes her head. ‘Maybe the Conductor could wait just a little longer….’ She sighs before glancing at the door to see the grumpy Owl-ish creature.  
“So darling, would you like to help me in my next, upcoming premier?!” DJ Grooves did a little spin. Hat Kid’s eyes became stars. “ WOULD I?!” She started walking and talking with DJ Grooves about it.  
Meanwhile the Conductor taped one of his claws on his arm chair. The lass was supposed to be here 2 minutes ago. He heaves a sigh. ‘Maybe the lassie forgot today? Yea. Yer worrying yerself over Nothin.’ The Conductor sighs to himself and looks up. ‘Or did that … Peck neck DJ Grooves get er? Ugh. Blast that flashy, bird brained Peck.’ Well… no point in mopping around. He’s got a movie to film!  
Another 3 hours had past. Where was Hat Kid?! The Conductor sighs and turns around,…… only to see Hat Kid walking with DJ Grooves while holding one of his hands <strike>flippers?</strike>. The first thing that crossed his mind was shock and betrayal. How could she? “La-Lassie?” His voice came out soft, and uncertain. Hat Kid turns back to see his heartbroken expression. She came to a halt and looked at him. DJ Grooves turned as well.  
“Well nice to see you Conductor darling.” The Conductor gritted his teeth<strike> beak??</strike>? Oh how he H A T E D that darn Penguin. First stealing his award, now stealing his star?! <strike>Well Conductor seems</strike> <strike>to think of her more as his kid</strike> Hat Kid felt the tension grow in the air, and she knew if she did nothing something was bound to go wrong.  
“You..... you GOOD FOR NOTHING BIRD BRAINED PECK NECK! HOW COULD YOU JUST TAKE HER LIKE YOU OWN ER?!” The Conductor was FUMING. Hat Kid thought she knew how angry he could be, but this was a whole new level. Might even be able to rival the Snatcher..... she was snapped out of her thoughts when she had been picked up by the fuming owl<strike>(?</strike>).  
“C-Conductor?! Put me d-down!” She stuttered out. DJ Grooves snatches the poor child back. Hat Kid wasn’t sure of what to make of her predicament, but she knew this wasn’t over. She sighs, knowing she had to choose one of them.

**(DJ Grooves Ending)**  
“Conductor,” she started softly. “You’re a great guy and all, but I like hanging out with DJ Grooves a lot more. I’m sorry-“  
The Conductor has had enough. “No, it’s aight lassie. I understand.” Hat Kid stares in disbelief. He was taking this rather well. That’s not a good sign. Next thing she knows is that everything was going black. She heard a muffled sound of DJ Grooves trying to reason while hearing a sinister chuckle of the Conductor.  
“She’s Mine lad, the Lassie is **M I N E**.” DJ Grooves backs away slowly. “Yer not keepen the lass away from me, Grooves.” The Conductor let out a growl. Now this was a whole new level. Grooves knew the Conductor disliked him, but the look in his eyes showed pure hatred. <strike>well if the Conductor had eyes-</strike> This clearly was far from good. “I’ll show yer what happens to those that get in me way.” The Conductor raises a knife and in one swift motion, stabs DJ Grooves in the chest. Now it was break time so no one heard this. The Moon Penguin howls in pain. How could this happen to him. “Hehehehehe. I told yer. The Lassie is mine.” The Owl(?) proceeds to grab the poor Penguin by the neck, and throw him into one of the many ditches. Good riddance. The Conductor walks back over, picks up Hat Kid, and walks away. “It’ll be alright now, Lass. I’m here.”

(** Conductor Ending)**  
“DJ Grooves? May you put me down?” The Moon Penguin looks at her surprised, but obeys her wishes none the less. Hat Kid walks slowly over to the Conductor,…… and gives him a hug. The Conductor’s response was immediate. He hugged her tightly. She chuckles softly. “Lassie…. Please don’t ever do that to me again. Yer in for it if it happens again.” Hat Kid stiffens a bit at the small threat. The Conductor chuckles and rubs her back, she relaxes a bit in his arms. DJ had left already. “Aight lassie, let’s head home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this was a fun one to write. Hoo boy. No this is not supposed to be romantic. It’s platonic. I am fully aware that Hat Kid is a CHILD. And the Conductor was A MARRIED MAN. I AM AWARE. DON’T HARASS ME


	3. Overprotective Dad To The Rescue!( Yandere! Conductor x Hat Kid x Mustache Girl)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is an alternate Timeline to the previous one shot. Same concept except.... we’ll DJ Grooves is alive. Mafia shouldn’t bully the little lass. MU and Hat Kid shall be siblings in this version... so it’s kinda an AU. Okay. Let’s a go.

Hat Kid and MU crawl back to the red-hooded girls’s hideout. The Mafia really did a number on the two. Hat Kid’s arm was a bit dislocated. MU on the other hand had to get a cast for her leg sooner or later. “Man....... dad is gonna be piiiiissed.” The young hatted child groaned out. “No kidding. Those no good bad guys.” MU responded with a sigh. A sudden yowl of pain escapes the Mustached girl as she moves her right leg. “Darn. It’s broken.” Hat Kid sighs. This is actually the first time the Mafia has broken one of either of the girls bones. “C’mon... we should get home before-“ “Before what, Lassie.” Both girls turn to see their adoptive father, The Conductor. ‘_We’re so screwed.’ _They thought simultaneously. “H-hey Dad. How- howzit going?” Hat Kid stutters out nervously. The Conductor tilts his head. “Lassie,.... what happened?” MU interjects immediately. “It was the Mafia again! They dislocated Hattie’s arm and broke my leg!” The Conductor twitches. “Aight the lassie’s. Let’s get yer both to the hospital.” And that was that.

About an hour later, the Conductor was back at Mafia town. He casually flips his knife and then throws it, hitting a Mafia goon straight in the chest. More over a coincidence, it was one of the same ones that attacked Hat Kid and Mustache Girl. The Mafia goon winced at the knife going into his chest, before exploding with a satisfying pop. The Conductor chuckles darkly. Casually catching the soul in a jar as well, knowing Hat Kid, she would probably go see the Snatcher later. He sets off to find another unsuspecting Mafia goon. Walking up to him casually, The Conductor takes his knife, and stabs it into the Mafia goon’s back. He heard several satisfying cracks and screams as he drags the knife through the poor Mafia’s back. He moves on in his short killing spree before returning to the hospital to find the girls. Hat Kid was watching TV, all bandaged up, while MU was sleeping silently, with her cast on her broken leg.

Deciding to scare his unsuspecting daughter, the Conductor stealthily walks up to her, and picks her up. “Here’s me favorite daughter!” Hat Kid screamed in complete surprise. “DAD WHY?!” She screeched. The Conductor chuckles. “Sorry lass. Got carried away.” Hat Kid shakes her head. “Dad you’re covered in blood again.” The Conductor looks down at himself. Oops. Oh well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..... Hehehehe. Yep. I like this idea of Conductor being like this. Platonic Yanderes are fun to me.


	5. ALL STAR (SHITPOST TO KEEP THIS BOOK GOING)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashley decides to run around singing All Star

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY

Ashley slams the door open with a loud THUD "_some- __BODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME! I AIN'T THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!"_ "Sis plz nu." "_SHE WAS LOKING KIND OF DUMB WITH HER FINGER AND HER THUMB IN THE SHAPE OF AN "L" ON HER FOREHEAD!" _Snatcher puts a claw over the girl's mouth. "**KIDDO. S T O P." **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE NO REGRETS THOUGH


	6. Princess or Mother( Snatcher x Oc x Moonjumper x Hat Kid)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truthfully.... love comes in many forms. I had an idea where one of my oc’s was immortal and was the royal advisor for Both Snatcher and Vanessa’s families. But uh- ya know. Stuff happens. Probs gonna make a story on it. I BELIEVE IN THE THEORY OF SNATCHER AND MOONJUMPER BEING THE SAME PERSON IN LIFE, BUT SEPARATE IN DEATH. Vanessa isn't here but she hates my OC after assuming Ashley was going to take the prince from her.  
I might abandon this specific chapter-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snatcher= bold  
Hat Kid= normal  
Ashely= italics  
Moonjumper= underlined  
Snatcher and Moonjumper are romantic ship.( with Ashley)  
Hat Kid is platonic with Ashley.

Ashley AlphaSaphire was currently helping Hat Kid with counting her Time Pieces. “37. I’m missing 3.” Hat Kid sighs- then remembers that she didn't check ALL of Subbcon. She rushes off to her bedroom, Ashley not far behind. After setting her teleporter to where she wants to go, Hat Kid grabs Ashley's hand and off they go. After a good minute or so, they both land right outside Snatcher's tree. Hat Kid lets go of Ashley and runs inside. "HEY BFF!" She shouted at the slightly surprised Snatcher. Said ghost blinks before going, "**Kid, I thought I told you to get out. We're done, finished, I don't have a need for you."** Truth be told, he didn't mind the child dropping in- from time to time that is- NOT EVERYDAY! He sighs, Hat Kid's attention was away from him and to the doorway, before giving off a smug face and snatching his book. SHE JUST SNATCHED A BOOK FROM THE SNATCHER. She makes a mad dash for the forest, Ashley following quickly. Ashley was aware of the Snatcher's anger, after all, she and him have a long history together. Snatcher took a good minute to process what just happened, before letting out a furious roar. "OH P E C K" Hat Kid screams and quickly puts on her sprint hat. Ashley doing the same with her cloak. _"HATTIE WHY DID YOU TAKE HIS BOOK?!_" "I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY!" Hat Kid retaliated to the black haired female. "**KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID! WHEN I FIND YOU- YOU'LL WISHED YOU'D HAVE DIED IN OUR BATTLE!"** "_OH P E C K U S" _They haven't stopped running- _HOWEVER_\- their gear does have to cool down every once in a while. Diving into one of the minions houses, they stay there, QUIETLY trying to catch their breath. **"Kid. If you come out now, it'll be easier** **on you.**" Ashley makes a 'sssshhh' motion. "**I'm getting impatient. IF I FIND YOU- IT W O N ' T B E P R E T T Y." **Hat Kid begins to shake, she just wanted to do a harmless prank. "**I'M GIVING YOU TILL THE COUNT OF THREE!" **Ashley gets an idea, grabbing the book from the Hatted child, she jumps out the house and makes a mad dash. Snatcher, not realizing it wasn't Hat Kid, immediately goes after the retreating figure. Hat Kid waits until she can no longer hear him yelling, and runs back to the ship. Meanwhile Ashley makes a sharp turn and quickly climbs a tree. Seeing he over shot the tree she was in, she relaxes just a tad bit. Sitting down, she heaves a sigh. " Well hello." Ashley looks to her side, seeing another old friend of her's. "_Oh! Hey Moonjumper. What's up?" _"I should be asking you the same thing."_ "Hattie took Snatcher's book, and now he's furious. I __decided to cover for her while she made a run for it, back to the ship." _"Sounds pretty motherly of you. Or sister-like."_ "Pfft yeah. Me. Motherly." _Unfortunately Snatcher was coming back and spotted the two. "**HEY! MOONBOY! GET AWAY FROM HER!" **Ashley AND Moonjumper facepalm. "_IS IT THAT HARD TO GET MY/HIS NAME RIGHT?!"_ The two share a glance, before bursting into a fit of laughter. Snatcher's eye twitches, before grabbing the purple-hood wearing female off the branch. Moonjumper's eye twitches slightly. Ashley luckily had not dropped the book. She sighs with a small blush. This again. Moonjumper hops off the tree. "Now, now Snatcher, my friend. Why go through all this trouble to keep our fair maiden of a friend away from me?' <strike>Probably a stupid question to ask Moonjumper.</strike> "**Because, MOONBOY. She came in MY FOREST. Therefore she is MY PROPERTY." **Ashley was unaware of what to make of this. So, to escape the escalating conversation, she switches to her Time-Stop Cloak, activating it, she gets out of Snatcher's grasp. Placing his book in her place, she quickly dashes of, aware of the cat and mouse game that would soon come into pursuit. When the time stop faded however, this is what rang in her ears as she picked up her pace. "**OH PRINCESS~ COME ON BACK HERE~"** "_OH SHIT." _Ashley never thought she could run so fast without her sprint cloak. Unfortunately, she tripped. Only to realize something- or someONE caught her. '_SHIT_' She thought silently. Well crap. Being _forcefully _turned around, her eyes meet two bright yellow sockets. "**Caught ya, Ashley." **The over probably 5,000 year old female tries to get out of the purple floofy, noodle- like ghost's grip, hardly to any avail. Snatcher let's out a sinister laugh. Suddenly Ashley gets pulled out of his grasp into the teleporter. ONCE AGAIN, HAT KID HAS SNATCHED FROM THE SNATCHER. Hat Kid and Ashley let out a sigh of relief. "Mafia Town? Or Dead Bird Studios?" _"Dead Bird." _And that's where they went. Ashley sighs. "CONDUCTOR?! COOOOOOONDUUUUCTOOOOOR?!" The Conductor walks out his side of the building. "Well if it isn't the little lass. Howzit goin?" Hat Kid smiles and hugs him, the Conductor chuckles softly. Ashley smiles at the sight of this. Maybe the strange owl man was a good father to this child. The Conductor pats the young hatted child's head, before they break from the hug. "Snatcher is pecking furious with us. Mainly me for-" she pauses, and snorts. "SNATCHING his book, and Ashley out of his hands." The Conductor at first, was about to scold the child, but then he began to howl with laughter. Who is this kid? Ashley sighs.

It was about a week later after Hat Kid visited Subbcon. She decided to go back and apologize to Snatcher for stealing his book. When she got to his tree however, he wasn't there. She heard arguing in the distance. She hops on one foot before hopping down. Keeping her balance, she proceeds to hop from one foot to the other. She peeks out from behind a tree. The little girl hears both Snatcher and Moonjumper arguing over something- or rather someone. "Oh? And you think she'll choose you right off the bat? That woman we knew since our childhood is SO MOTHERLY SHE'D CHOOSE **HAT KID** over **YOU!"** <strike>Ouch. Might need some ice for that one Snatcher.... not like you need it anyway.</strike> "**Right. And she'd pick YOU? FAKE PRINCE WANNABE!" **<strike>AUGH THAT STINGS</strike>. Jeez. This is a WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF SELF LOATHING. "FINE! Whoever wins her heart gets to keep her. F O R E V E R." Hat Kid lets out a silent gasp. Forever. That means she wouldn't see the mother figure she held so deeply to her heart EVER AGAIN. "**D E A L"** The little girl had to warn Ashley, she had to. Stepping backwards- THE MOST O B V I O U S CLICHE HAPPENS- Hat Kid snaps a twig. The two ghost turn around, fast enough to see the hatted child swapping into her Sprint Hat. Hat Kid, realizing she's been spotted, activates the Hat, and runs to her teleporter. "**AAAAAAAAAAND She's gonna tell Ashley." **"Damnit" It didn't take long for Hat Kid to locate Ashley. "Mom?MOM WAKE UP!" The child didn't have time to realize what she said, this was too urgent. Ashley opens her eyes and rolls over to look at the frantic child. Hat Kid tries to explain what she heard. _"Woah-WOAH. Okay Hattie, sweetheart. Slow down a bit there."_ The Hatted child takes a deep breath, and repeats everything. Ashley nods and sighs. _"Why am I not surprised? It was bound to happen. But.....don't worry Hattie, I'm not gonna leave you."_ Hat Kid smiles at her mother-like figure. The two headed down to Subbcon, with dread in the pits of their stomachs. 

Subbcon seemed oddly more- eerie than usual. As in that there wasn't even a Minion- NOT EVEN A DWELLER- in sight. Ashley treads lightly, making sure to avoid any of Snatcher's traps. Looking around, Hat Kid begins to grow tired, almost falling asleep on Ashley's back. **"WHY HEEEEELLLLOOOO THERE! YOU DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT ME, DID YOU?! DON'T TELL ME YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME."**_ "How would I forget you, your majesty?" _Ashley inquired, in a rhetorical way. Snatcher eyes lit up in a way that seemed to make him look amused. **"So, what's up Sweetheart?" **<strike>Well that's </strike><strike>totally not out of character.</strike> Sweetheart? That's a new one. "HOLD UP YOU POOL NOODLE!" Ashley snorts a bit on accident. Why was that so funny?! **"Oh heyyyyyyyy. What's up?!" **Snatcher puts an arm around Ashley, really casual. Moonjumper glares <strike>and if he still had feet, he would have been tapping his foot on the ground.</strike> at the floofy purple ghost. "You tried to do this unfairly." Snatcher scoffs. **"Whatever do you mean?" **Snatcher tries to make himself look as innocent as possible. Ashley sighs. **"Well, Sweetheart. We've been hiding something from you, but assuming Hat Kid told you already.... well... who do you choose?" **Ashley looks at them both with uncertainty. Sure she loved them both, but she can't abandon this child that is sleeping on her back. It's unfair to her. _"I choose.... I-I choose..."_

**SNATCHER ENDING**

_"I choose......I choose Snatcher." _A soft red hue appears on the 5,679 year old's face as she says the name. Moonjumper looks down, and grits his teeth. All that time she spent with him, waiting for him, having fun with him. All for nothing. He tears up before floating off, not without leaving a threat. "M A R K my words Snatcher, when I return from my horizon, I WILL HAVE SUBBCON. Along with EVERYONE LIVING IN IT'S AREA. That includes BOTH ASHLEY **A N D **HAT KID." Ashley looks at him sadly as he floats off. There could have been a much more peaceful solution to that, couldn't there have been? She wasn't sure what she could have done, but something else was better than letting him go, heartbroken and full of hate. Snatcher however, was completely unfazed by Moonjumper's threat, and instead picks up Ashley and Hat Kid happily. This shadow truly believed he would never love again, but here he is, loving his advisor from when he was alive. He felt some sort of heartbeat. Floating back to his tree, he makes a small makeshift bed for Hat Kid. Sitting back down in his chair, he sets Ashley on an armrest. He looks directly at her as she stares back. Her face had darkened a couple of shades. Catching her a bit off guard, he kisses her forehead softly. Ashley squeaks. "_Y-You missed." _He raises an eyebrow, unaware of what she meant. Before he knew it, she grabbed both sides of his face, leans in, and full on kisses him. Snatcher's eyes widen before relaxing and kissing back. Of course she had to pull away for air, so he sets in her lap, and cuddles her. "**I love you." **_"Love you too, you pecking jerk." _Snatcher laughs. **"That was uncalled for." **_"I know"_

**MOONJUMPER ENDING**

"I choose Moonjumper." Snatcher floats off, crushed. That's the last time he's loving ANYONE. He can't believe he could be so STUPID. Ashley holds her arm, in an awkward way. She mutters out a small sorry, soft enough for Snatcher to hear, but not Moonjumper. Snatcher freezes, Ashley looks at him. When he gets back to his tree however, he finds a whole note explaining a whole apology. Maybe.... just maybe he will love again, just not now. Moonjumper however, was ECSTATIC. He hugs her softly, trying not to wake Hat Kid up. "Where in the forest shall we go now? My dear princess." Ashley looks at him. _"Lemme do something REEEEAAAAL quick"_ Just like magic, Moonjumper's shackles fall off. He's free...... HE'S FREE! He tackles Ashley to the ground, thanking her. Luckily Hat Kid didn't't wake up. Ashley chuckles softly at the blue-skinned male. He helps her up, and they wander around. They watch the moon while also star gazing. It was a great night. Ashley led him back to the ship, and then they had a sleepover. "Love you, Princess"_ "Love ya too, Moonboy" _"NOT YOU TOO!"_ "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

**HAT KID ENDING( BAD VERSION) (a.k.a YOU'RE N O T L E A V I N G)**  
  
_"I choose to go with Hat Kid. I'm sorry guys- but she needs me-" _**"No. No SHE doesn't. WE need you. I NEED YOU!" **What's gotten into him? Snatcher sounded a lot more crazed. Like he lost majority of his sanity. Ashley looks to Moonjumper for SOME help, but he seemed to have that same look Snatcher did. This can't be good. Backing away slowly, Ashley wasn't sure whether or not to run. Snatcher picks her up, while Moonjumper sets Hat Kid at Snatcher's tree. **"Oh we'll take good care of you, oh we will. We just can't let you leave. Not again, N O T E V E R." **"You're stuck with us now, P R I N C E S S~" OH P E C K

**HAT KID ENDING ( GOOD)(A.K.A Till We Meet Again)**

"_I choose to go with Hat Kid. She's just a child in space. She really needs me-" _"Stop." Ashley looks at him, uncertain. "It's okay Princess. I understand." Snatcher nods. They both just smile, although it seems a tad forced. _"We'll come back soon guys, I promise." _The two ghost look at one another. " So. Truce?" Moonjumper holds out a hand for Snatcher to shake. **"Truce" **They both shake hands. _"Till we meet again?" _**"Till we meet again!"** They all have a small 5 minute hug, before going separate ways. Hat Kid wakes up, slightly groggy. "Are- are we leaving?" Ashley nods. "YAY!" Hat Kid rushes to the telaporter. "Don't worry about the 39 time pieces only thing. I gave one to MU" Ashley nods as the two settle down in Hattie's ship. As they head to Hat Kid's home, Ashley sighs, twirling a familiar purple quil in her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *breathes in**exhales**slams head on desk* THIS TOOK ME A TOTAL OF 16 HOURS TO WRITE!!! S I X T E E N H O U R S! DO YOU KNOW HOW INFURIATING THAT IS?! THE YANDERE CONDUCTOR ONE-SHOTS TOOK ROUGHLY AROUND 6 HOURS.( Mainly several 15 minute work times) ALL TOGETHER! AND THIS THING TOOK ALMOST A DAY ALTOGETHER!!!!!!!! I NEED TO SLEEP! What has my life come to? I dunno. Well. Maybe drop in the comments suggestions for the next one-shot. I currently have a Dadtcher AU one-shot in the making.... that'll be published PECK KNOWS WHEN! This was pretty fun to write while listening to COVERS OF "OTHER FRIENDS" WITH SNATCHER AND "OLD TOWN ROAD" WITH THE CONDUCTOR (God bless the soul of whoever made those covers cause D A M N IT'S FUNNY TO LISTEN TO AND THE IMPRESSION IS PRETTY SPOT ON) Thank you for listening to me rant. Kuddos? Comment? Subscribe? Please and thank you  
Edit:24 HOURS  
E D I T: 7 2 H O U R S  
E D I T : 8 4 H O U R S. ALL STAR DOES NOT HELP  
Fun Fact: The Original set up for the confession idea was going to be Moonjumper starting the confession, before Snatcher jumps in shouting "HOLD UP, M O O N B O Y" reason for it's change cause when I kept forgetting to save my draft, it kept deleting, and I decided to take a new approach, so this happened. Honestly, calling Snatcher a "POOL NOODLE" was much more funny than " M O O N B O Y"


	7. Family Discussion ( Part 2 of 'Overprotective Dad to the Rescue ')

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mustache Girl and Hat Kid go over their weird family members "habits" while visiting Uncle Snatcher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno. Thought this one would be funny.

Hat Kid was skipping down the path to Subbcon, MU following right next to her. They were walking to get to their Uncle- Snatcher's forest. Hattie suddenly stops. "Hey Sis?" MU stops and turns to her sister. "Yeah Hattie?" Hat Kid looks up at the sky, before continuing. "Do you think it's weird that we've become numb to this? To dad's whole, overprotective injuring/murdering habit- I mean." MU blinks. Well that was a weird question. Pretty straightforward to. "Huh, it is just a little weird. Cause I'm sure someone from your planet would probably be like' OH MY GOD HE JUST STABBED MY WIFE FOR SLAPPING THAT CHILD!' and in turn it was either me or you that was slapped." Hat Kid stops and begins to laugh. "Or what about someone screaming 'MY POOR DAUGHTER IS DEAD CAUSE THAT NOODLE LIKE GHOST JUST ATE HER SOUL!'" MU snorts. "Or someone talking about Uncle MJ like ' AAAAAAH! MY MOTHER IS A LIFELESS PUPPET!'" The girls double over wheezing at their silliness. "Oh-OH. WHAT ABOUT SOMEONE GOING LIKE 'THE FUCK IS THE TALKING PENGUIN DOING?!'" MU suddenly states. Hat Kid starts crying about how stupid or scary some of the family members weird habits are. Why is this so funny to them?! MU rubs her eyes, trying to stop the tears. The girls finally get to their Uncle Snatcher's tree. Tears dried on their faces with some still falling, also their faces are extremely red. Snatcher looks up from his book to see the two kids, and his initial reaction was worry. **"ARE YOU TWO OKAY?! DID MOONJUMPER HURT YOU?! DID VENESSA ALMOST GET YOU?!" **Both girls blink in confusion, until they realize that they were just crying only 2 minutes prior to arriving, and they still haven't stopped. "We're fine Uncle. We were just talking about some of the habits you guys have that others on Hattie's planet would find terrifying or just plain weird." MU explains calmly, still drying her tears. Hat Kid was furiously rubbing her eyes to dry her tears. "I guess we took our jokes a bit too far." Hat Kid added on. "Oh- wait a second...." Hat Kid reaches into her hat and pulls out a small jar, with two souls crammed in it. "Dad went on another spree with the Mafia." Snatcher was aware of their father's killing spree, but now he was intrigued by the reason THIS time. **"So. What caused the latest spree?" **The two girls look at one another,then back to the big shadow ghost. "The Mafia dislocated Hattie's arm.... and broke my leg." MU states flatly. Snatcher raises an eyebrow. **"Really? How STUPID can the Mafia possibly be?!" **All three begin to laugh. "HELLLOOO DOWN THERE! How are my favorite nieces?" Hattie jumps up while MU smiles and shakes her head. Moonjumper picks up the young hat wearing child and spins her around. “Uncle MJ, we’re your ONLY nieces.” MU said in an amused tone. Moonjumper chuckles. "I know~ I just wanted to make it known that if I had more- you two would be my favorites." Snatcher would have rolled his eyes- if he could. "**Okay MOONBOY. We get it." **Moonjumper glares at the noodle like ghost but keeps his mouth. He really hated that nickname to no end. Hat Kid laughs as MU looks at Snatcher. "Uncle Snatcher- don't be rude." The red hoodie wearing girl says. Snatcher looks at the hooded child- and chuckles. **"Okay, kiddo" **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO- I'M NOT DEAD- =) So yeah- man this is crappy- but getting somewhere- might make this a book sometime-


	9. Hey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...

Yo guys. I’m not dead! Yay. I’ve just been having a large writers block lately. Soooo. I have a tumblr you guys can bug me at if ya want.   
<https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/lonelostwriter>  
Just drop anything down in there.


	10. Small Headcanons On Conductor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated in a bit. Have partial x reader

**Around His Kids And Grandkids**

  * He's a really sweet guy  
  

  * Would secretly die for them despite them getting on his nerves.
  * Ocasional spoiling of them, as long as they behave

** If you actually threaten him **

  * I wish you luck
  * Actually he doesn't really care.
  * STRONK EMOTIONAL MAN

**If you threaten his family**

  * **PRAY **he doesn't know your address.
  * Run. Just run.
  * Might wanna move. 
  * H e k n o w s y o u r s i n s

**Attacking his family**

  * AHAHAHAHAHAHAAH YOU'RE SO DEAD
  * RUN GET OUT
  * He go stabby stab
  * I'm sorry but ur dead  
  


**If you're his lover**

  * You're always on his movie set.
  * "YOU PECK NECKS BETER NOT BE LOOKIN AT EM WRONG'
  * Snuggles. Just snuggles and cuddles.
  * H-how do you stare into his eyes????

ehehehehehehe. enjoy something small  
  



	11. Dadtcher To The Rescue!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snatcher getting sus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot I made a part 2 of Lassie for DJ Grooves end LMAO

Hat Kid groans as she sits up. Where is she?

“Ah, Lassie! Yer up! Ah was gettin worried there fer a second.”

The Conductor? Hat Kid holds her head, trying to remember what happened. She remembers something about picking- DJ GROOVES! What happened?! She looks at the conductor a bit skeptically. Her heart dropped as she saw he was slightly covered in blood. He didn’t-

“Lass? Yer alright?” Hat Kid backs away, hyperventilating. He killed him! The Conductor KILLED HIM! She curls up, trying to make herself smaller. Why was this happening?! She squeaks when he picked her up.

“Yer must still be tired after that whole, incident. Don’t worry Lass, Ah ‘ve got you.” This made Hat Kid worry more!

“PUT ME DOWN YOU PSYCHO!” She realized she shouldn’t have said that. The Conductor twitches a bit. But he still carries here down to a spare room. He puts her on the bed.

“Yer goin to stay put until ya learned yer lesson, **Lassie**“

Hat Kid stares at him in disbelief. Suddenly she hears the door lock. Getting up, she proceeds to pull and tug the lock. It wouldn’t open! Collapsing on the floor, she curls up and begins to cry.

Meanwhile

Snatcher’s eye twitches. The kid hadn’t visited him in over a good 2 weeks. It confused him greatly on why her absence agitated him. Maybe it was because the minions were complaining. Yeah.... that was it. Sighing, he puts his book down and starts towards her ship.

She wasn’t there. IT WAS 10 AT NIGHT AND SHE WASN’T THERE! He was FURIOUS! The kid would never do this if he was her father! NOT THAT HE WANTED TO BE- although he wouldn’t mind- AUGH! He shouldn’t be thinking about that! He goes down to Mafia town.

Nope. Not here either.

**“Ugh. Kiddo where are you?!”**

He was agitated. He goes to Dead Bird Studios . Something was off about this atmosphere. He floats around, luckily he didn’t have a nose but DAMN! Something smelled. He found an old rotting corpse along with blood on the floor. It wasn’t Hat Kid though.

_‘It’s not the kiddo. She’s still okay_.’

Snatcher knew the Conductor lived close by, so that was the way he went.

Meanwhile

Hat Kid stares at the wall. Why did the Conductor keep her here?! She knew he got mad at DJ Grooves but why is she pulled into this?! She pulls her legs closer to herself. She wished that she wasn’t here. She hadn’t visited her BFF in awhile either. Knowing him, he was probably happy about that. Hat Kid felt tears prick her eyes once again. What was up with certain people?! She wished she had left after she saved the planet. Now she was trapped in a( surprisingly comfortable) prison-like room.

Snatcher made it to the house. **“Jeez Kid, where did ya go?” **He sighs, and floats to the door, giving 3 solid knocks. The Conductor shouted a “Go away”. Snatcher sighs. **“Conductor? Have you seen the kiddo?” **The Conductor stumbles to the door, still slightly covered in blood. “What do ya want, ya Peck Neck?!” Jeez. Does he have to explain himself? **“I’m looking for the kiddo. She hasn’t visited my forest in a good 2 1/2 weeks.” **The Conductor sweats a bit. “Well the Lass ain’t here. Sorry Ah couldn’t help yer out.” The Conversation ended there as he shuts the door. However the Snatcher could feel how close she was. Hat Kid IS here. Snatcher floats towards the end of the house, and phases through a wall. He looks to the right to see the poor Hatted girls sitting there, crying. It broke his non-existing heart.

**“Hey. Hey Kiddo? You okay?” **He looks at the young child. She sniffles and turns her head to him.

“Sn-Snatcher?” Her voice was hushed and a bit hoarse. How long has she been crying? 3?4?5 hours straight? Heck if he knew. They both heard locks turning and Snatcher quickly hid in th closet. The Conductor opens the door and walks over to Hat Kid.

“Lass,” he heaves a sigh. “Ya need to drink somethin.” He holds a water bottle out to the young girl. Hat Kid stares at it. “Lass, Ah ain’t heartless. Ah didn’t wanna hurt you. Ah just.......... you know Ah never liked DJ Grooves right? Seeing you so close to him just....set me off.” Hat Kid stares at him, opening the bottle as well. She was starting to piece it all together.

‘_He was jealous of DJ Grooves.’ _She understood it now. And it made a bit more sense. He wasn’t really thinking straight, was he? And he liked her as a daughter. She accepted it. But she couldn’t accept what he did. Maybe if she got her timepieces-

Snatcher floats out the closet.** “YOU! You’re trying to guilt trip her into staying with you?! How do we know you won’t rape her?!”**

Well that was unexpected. The Conductor would have blinked but, you know. “Why the P E C K would Ah rape the lass?!” Hat Kid gives off a deadpanned stare. Wow..... just- just W O W. She facepalms.... Wait- she thought he didn’t care for her.

( Conductor’s Ending)

Hat Kid pulls the Conductor closer to her, hugging him. “La-Lassie?” He asked a little surprised. “I don’t mind the idea of you being a father to me. Just.... can we NOT have a murder in the Studio?” He looks at her and nods. Snatcher blinks. Just a couple minutes ago she was miserable. Now she’s accepting this?! W H A T?! Suddenly Hat Kid shatters a time piece on the ground. They were back to that same position before she blacked out. Hat Kid gets out of DJ Grooves arms and rushes over to the Owl(???). DJ Grooves blinks.? Well then.... that happened. The Conductor spins her around a bit. His kid.... she’s his kid. And he’s happy.

( Snatcher Ending)

Hat Kid scoots away from the Conductor. He still murdered someone! He couldn’t be trusted! The Conductor sighs. “Lassie, yer makin this real difficult. Why don’t ya stay with me?” Hat Kid bumps into Snatcher. The tall ghost glares down at the Owl. **“You’re not getting MY KID. She’s coming with me.”**

Before the Owl could do anything, the young hatted child was picked up and teleported to the forest. Snatcher sighs. Hat Kid stares at him with a grateful look and then it turns into a smug face. **“What’s that look supposed to mean? Kid?”**

“You called me ‘ your kid’.”

“**No I didn’t. You’re hearing things.”**

“You did. You said ‘ You’re not getting my kid’ I heard you.”

**“I SAID NO SUCH THING! Ugh! You’re the worst daughter ever!”**

Snatcher immediately slaps a claw over his mouth. Damn it! He said it. Ugh.... he can’t believe how stupid he was to say it. Hat Kid’s smile grows. “Love ya too dad.” She hugs the noodle like ghost. He sighs. “**Yeah yeah. Love ya too kiddo.” **He pecks her forehead softly. His kid is safe, that’s all that matters.


End file.
